8.6 Miles

Around 12:30am this past Friday, I was snuggling into bed on an air mattress on my friend's apartment floor in Denver, Colorado. Although we had talked about going out to get a drink or to see the new batman movie that night, we instead decided to have a quiet night in eating a homemade dinner, lounging on the couch, and putting in a movie. The movie ended around midnight and we were all in bed by 12:30.

And 8.6 miles away, an unspeakable tragedy was unfolding.

Since 7:45am Friday morning when I was woken up by a friend's text telling me the news, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the shooting. Along with the rest of the country, I'm angry and sad and confused and frustrated and although national tragedies always grab my attention and slap me in the face with the reality of how fragile life is, this one feels different. This one hit a little closer.

8.6 miles.

And if I, a random visitor who just happened to be in town when the shooting took place, am struggling so much with the weight of it all, I can't imagine how the Denver-area community members must feel. My heart breaks for the victims, their families, and their friends- for the community that, in a short period of 13 years, has endured two of our nation's deadliest massacres. And the painful reality is that there are no words that will ever be enough to convey the horror and there is no explanation that makes any of it make sense. There is no remedy for unspeakable grief and even though the passing of time may ease it to some extent, there will always remain the harsh truth that nothing will ever be the same for those involved.

With that truth, however, we must remember that there is another Truth. As we wrestle with God over the unfairness of it all, over the bullshit that often defines our broken world,  and over the darkness present in our own hearts and minds, we have to remember that there is hope. God is not silent in our suffering. Maybe this is all easy for me to say because I'm not in the midst of grieving the loss of a parent, or sibling or friend. When I do experience breathtaking feelings of hopelessness and defeat that accompany the inevitable tragedies of life, however, my ultimate desire is that I would still remember that God is so very present- that His love is powerful and redemptive and that He is transforming hearts and minds all of the time. It is a truth that is so easy to forget and yet so freaking important to remember. My prayer is that the knowledge of God's presence would become more and more real to the people of Denver over the following weeks, months, and years.

A quote at the Columbine High School memorial
that we visited in Littleton, CO today