Softball...Oh How I've Missed You

So today, I went to softball practice for the first time in over a year. And it was so good for my soul. I don't care how ridiculous it sounds... throwing, catching, and hitting that little neon yellow ball brings me to a place where I am CERTAIN that I am doing something I was created for.

I was reading Psalm 139 today and it really hit home (pun totally intended). I could type the whole psalm here but that would take a long time and I'm feeling lazy so I'll just let you check it out for yourself. In short, the context of the psalm is that David is recognizing and praising God for the incredible way in which He intricately and uniquely designed David. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:13-14

After years of fighting the temptation to identify myself based on my athletic abilities and of struggling against defining my worth by my batting average, I'm finally learning to approach softball from a new perspective. This game has brought so many emotional and physical ups and downs over the past 15 years that at times, it's seemed so much easier to just walk away- to leave behind the pressure to perform, the impossible expectations and the unavoidable disappointments.  But walking away would also mean leaving behind a lifetime of incredible moments: of high school state championships, night games under the lights at the complex where my parents met, surfing with teammates in Hawaii, beating Florida State by one run at Nationals my junior year in college...the list goes on. So many of the moments that make up the fabric of my life have happened within the context of my life as a softball player. And yet, my identity has never been and will never be found in my ability to throw a ball around a field. My identity is found in the One who created me with the physical ability to play, with an intense competitive streak, and with a need to be constantly surrounded by people who will push me to be better in all aspects of my life.

And as I begin to understand this truth, I find the freedom to love this game and to play for the right reasons. I am able to rejoice in the understanding that I don't play softball because I'm desperate to find some sort of significance or meaning for my life but because I was created purposefully and uniquely and I have the privilege of reflecting my Creator's intentionality through my athletic abilities. What an honor.

Flashback: An epic pic from Nationals 2010