Food for Thought, Is God Good?

BORING.
My apologies, I was feeling super uncreative today.

Planking in the Living Room

The tiny stool was probably a bad planking location

And yet I found it necessary to keep trying...
not my best work.

Lazy Sunday #2

This was shot #3, the first two were unusable for reasons
 that I am not able to disclose at this time... or ever

I Love My New Sweatshirt

Yes. I've worn the same sweatshirt 4 days in a row. And no, I haven't washed it yet. It still smells new and I LOVE that smell. I'll probably give it a few more days and then toss it in the wash, and then continue wearing it almost all of the time...like my friend Tex who has worn his every single day since he got it, which I believe was around December 21st. 

Awkward picture but EPIC highlighter yellow sweatband

I Love Bunked Beds

Growing up, I wanted bunked beds so badly and my parents always refused. Something about how it was impractical since there was only one of me... oh how I wish I'd been a twin. This weekend, however, I get to sleep in a bunked bed and I am PUMPED. 

I'm also pumped because this weekend is Athletes In Action's winter retreat in Xenia, OH. I'm so excited to see what God will do in the next couple of days in the hearts of some of the top college athletes in the region... college students blessed with the incredible opportunity to be major influencers on their campuses through their athletic talents. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will choose to use their positions of influence for something bigger than the temporary glory of a starting spot on a Division I varsity team or a MAC championship ring. Maybe they'll make the decision to start letting God do some crazy awesome things through them on their teams, on their campuses, in this country, and maybe even in other parts of the world. Would you join me in praying for them?

My awesome bottom bunk

Mmmm...Skyline

So. I ate a Skyline cheese coney at 12:15am tonight after a lovely Mac n Joe's hangout...and it was DELICIOUS. I mean, Skyline is always incredible but something about eating it as a midnight snack just really puts the icing on the cake.

2 Carolines and a Katie

Late Night Adventure #2

McDonalds, 1:00am. Enough said.

Song Obsession #4

Softball...Oh How I've Missed You

So today, I went to softball practice for the first time in over a year. And it was so good for my soul. I don't care how ridiculous it sounds... throwing, catching, and hitting that little neon yellow ball brings me to a place where I am CERTAIN that I am doing something I was created for.

I was reading Psalm 139 today and it really hit home (pun totally intended). I could type the whole psalm here but that would take a long time and I'm feeling lazy so I'll just let you check it out for yourself. In short, the context of the psalm is that David is recognizing and praising God for the incredible way in which He intricately and uniquely designed David. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:13-14

After years of fighting the temptation to identify myself based on my athletic abilities and of struggling against defining my worth by my batting average, I'm finally learning to approach softball from a new perspective. This game has brought so many emotional and physical ups and downs over the past 15 years that at times, it's seemed so much easier to just walk away- to leave behind the pressure to perform, the impossible expectations and the unavoidable disappointments.  But walking away would also mean leaving behind a lifetime of incredible moments: of high school state championships, night games under the lights at the complex where my parents met, surfing with teammates in Hawaii, beating Florida State by one run at Nationals my junior year in college...the list goes on. So many of the moments that make up the fabric of my life have happened within the context of my life as a softball player. And yet, my identity has never been and will never be found in my ability to throw a ball around a field. My identity is found in the One who created me with the physical ability to play, with an intense competitive streak, and with a need to be constantly surrounded by people who will push me to be better in all aspects of my life.

And as I begin to understand this truth, I find the freedom to love this game and to play for the right reasons. I am able to rejoice in the understanding that I don't play softball because I'm desperate to find some sort of significance or meaning for my life but because I was created purposefully and uniquely and I have the privilege of reflecting my Creator's intentionality through my athletic abilities. What an honor.

Flashback: An epic pic from Nationals 2010

Lazy Sunday

Hanging out with Caspian at community group

Embarrassing Moment #1

This is the first of many embarrassing moments I will be sharing with you. 

So. There was a band playing at Kofenya tonight and I went up to the shop shortly before the music was starting in order to get settled in, check some emails, listen to some current song obsessions, etc. So I'm minding my own business as the band is setting up and I hear my dear roommate say, "Um, you realize that everyone can hear your music, right?" No, in fact, I did not know that and I'm pretty sure that I was also verbally singing along to the music that I mistakenly believed was coming through my earphones. Turns out they weren't actually plugged in all the way... which would explain why the entire shop was staring at me. Awesome. I rarely get embarrassed, mostly because I usually willingly bring the embarrassment on myself. This one, on the contrary, totally caught me off guard. But it was hilarious and brought my fellow unsuspecting coffee drinkers some pre-concert entertainment. To give you some more context, below is the song that I accidentally shared with everyone. To my credit, its a pretty great song.

Honorary picture guest: Elizabeth Snyder

Ice Sucks

A replay of my reaction to losing control of my car
during the ice-pocalypse and "lightly grazing" the curb

The Neon Braceleteers

This past summer, I combined my former 10-year-old self's obsession of making bracelets with my current self's obsession with highlighter yellow and began mass-producing these knotted gray/black/highlighter yellow bracelets (very fashionable if I do say so myself). I then needed people to give them to and since I'm sort of in love with my roommate's staff (she owns this coffee shop that's pretty great and has a bunch of people who work for her who are also pretty great), I decided that they should be the recipients of my lovely neon yellow creations. Each one takes like forever and a day to make (or an hour) and are usually created when I'm supposed to be doing something productive and feel like procrastinating. And since procrastination is one of my major flaws (or gifts, depending on whether you're a glass half-full or a glass half-empty type of person), I've naturally been able to get quite a few done over the past 6 months. I think I've only made about 10 so far (which is clearly the definition of "mass production") but hopefully I'll finish the rest sometime in the near future. 

Also, it made sense that our bracelet-wearing crew needed a name so Nate dubbed us the Neon Braceleteers, and since I feel like we would make quite an effective super-hero team if such a need would ever arise here in the good ole Ox Box, the name seemed pretty fitting. 

Every member of my made-up club has the
 privilege of wearing one of these beauties

Fifth Time's a Charm

So I've attended "trivia night" at various locations over the past few months and am proud to finally announce a victory. Yes. The "Goodbye Fiji" team (formerly known as the Blue Barracudas) pulled out a win this evening...and it was beautiful.

Liz's reaction: "This is so exciting! I never win anything!!"

Trivia questions that I personally answered correctly:

Q. The terms "differentials" and "integrals" are terms used in what area of mathematics?
A. Calculus...duh

Q. The website titled "half-shelled heroes" pays tribute to what cartoon?
A. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Q. "What beverage company..." blah blah blah (I don't remember the rest of the question but I mean, you wouldn't have to be a genius to figure out that the answer was either pepsi or coca cola)
A. Pepsi Co.

I'm sure I had some sort of positive influence on the rest of our team's correct answers but my ability to pay attention declined significantly once the loaded waffle fries appeared on the table.

Trivia Champs

Intriguing Lyrics #1

The New Pornographers, "Adventures in Solitude"

Balancing on
One wounded wing
Circling the edge
Of the neverending 
The best of the vanished marvels have gathered inside your door

More than begin
But less than forget
But spirits born
From the not happened yet
Gathering there
To pay off a debt brought back from the wars

We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
Welcome back

Sleeping for years
Pick through what is left
Through the pieces that fell and rose from the depth
From the rainwater well
Deep as a secret nobody knows

Less than forget
But more than begun
These adventures in solitude never done
To the names of our wounds
We send the same blood back from the wars

We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
It will all come back

I know you want to
Run far away from one more
And that it's coming at a bad time
Some cold place
Heartless ways
For all we know

I know you need to
Breathe through
Come back
Come too
But it's coming at a bad time
Tangled day
For all we know

I know you want to
Run far away from one more
And that's coming at a bad time
Some cold race
Heartless ways
For all we know

I know you want to
Breathe through
Come back
Come too
But it's coming at a bad time
Old scarred face
Survivor's guilt
For all we know

Highlighter Yellow meets Wild Lime

Song Obsession #3

What I Ate Today

1 piece of french toast
3 raspberry/chocolate chip brownies
7 mini crab cakes
6 brussel sprouts
2 pepperoni/cheese bagel bites
1 Australian-style meat pie
lots of chips and guacamole

And now I'm slipping into a food coma and am going to sleep like a baby tonight.

The mark of true friendship: agreeing to walk 2 miles roundtrip to
Kroger wearing the most obnoxious color just to support a friend's obsessions

I wish I knew how to break dance

Confession: wearing these shoes with skinny jeans always
gives me the uncontrollable urge to start dancing

Important Life Tip #1

Tip: Always be ready for a random road trip.

Reason: In my 22.5 years of life experience, I have found that my most memorable moments have come from completely unplanned, irrational, and random occurrences. This is why I've decided to pack my beautiful highlighter bag with items that could be useful if, at any moment, I decide "I think I'll drive down to North Carolina and spend the weekend with Mervis," or "I think Jeff and Elise (Liz's bro and sis-in-law) are probably due for a date night, we should drive to Denver and babysit for them" or "I really miss Cheeto (Tina's cat), let's go to Athens." Two of the three of these scenarios have already happened and they were EPIC, unforgettable experiences where I had the opportunity to spend time with some pretty incredible people. Which is precisely why I always keep my road trip bag stocked and ready for the next adventure.

Life is short.

Think less, adventure more.

But watch out for cops in Kansas. Speeding tickets suck.

My emergency road trip duffel...
every impulsive person should have one close at hand

Trivia!

B-stud love

Things to Get out of Bed For

So. On New Year's Day, I left the conference I was working in Indianapolis and decided to drive to Middletown to attend church. Now, I can promise you that I am rarely this ambitious. There are few things for which I enjoy getting out of bed at 6:30am. I will list them for you:

1. hanging out with babies
2. softball
3. people who know how to talk about Jesus without sounding like total douches

I have been able to find such people (as described in point 3) at the Oaks where I've been going to church for the past couple of years. Dave's sermon on Jan 1 was especially good so I figured I'd share it with you.

http://www.theoakscommunitychurch.org/mcms_page_sermonlist_sort.php?groupby=month

click on "The Foolishness of Grace"

Enjoy.

Prayer Bear... yes, I still sleep with my stuffed animal. No shame.

Song Obsession #2

Getting ready for karaoke night
 with my 3rd can of ginger ale for the day

Oh Life

So I assume we can all agree that Forrest Gump was lying right through his teeth when he said that life was like a box of chocolates. Because I LOVE chocolate. Always. (And you do, in fact, know what you're gonna get because boxes of chocolate now come with the little charts that tell what each one is).

I don't always love the things going on in my life. I don't like when I find myself in the middle of a messed up situation that I have no control over... or reaping the consequences of mistakes I've made. Here are some options I've been considering lately in an attempt to deal with issues. I've also included the potential problems with each option.


Option #1: Put way tooooo many work and/or social commitments into my schedule so that I don't have time to really sit down and think about anything.
Problem: Sounds super unhealthy.

Option #2: See my therapist more than once a week.
Problem: Too expensive.

Option #3: Walk closely with Jesus and surround myself with people who will show me grace while being bold enough to point me back to the Truth (aka the Bible).
Problem: Seems too obvious, too easy. Right?

False. Option 3 is most definitely the hardest way to deal with things, because that is exactly what it entails. DEALING. Not numbing out. Not pretending that everything is okay. But actually facing all of the CRAP in life head on and saying, "Jesus, this doesn't make any sense. I have no freaking clue as to why You assumed that I'd be able to handle all of this because I'm pretty sure I'm about to break into a million pieces.  But whatever. Your Word says that there will never be a temptation for which You will not provide a way for me to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13) so I'm gonna acknowledge this broken mess I've gotten myself into and trust that You will show me the way out."

Now before you go thinking how great of a Jesus-follower I am, you should probably know that this isn't always the way I react to the things in my life or the way I always react to the Lord. Sometimes I say bad words (although I'm really trying to work on that one) and sometimes I think really horrible thoughts. Sometimes I just want to give up and go curl up in the fetal position on my bed (this one I still do on a fairly regular basis). But what always eventually surfaces in my heart and mind is the Truth of who Jesus is and how much He loves me...and that He, in fact, knew about the messes I would make long before I made them and who, himself, experienced the same temptations and frustrations as I do.

So, maybe I'm the only one here who sometimes feels crazy, lost, confused, broken beyond repair, tired, etc. But I suspect that is not the case. So how do you deal? And more importantly, is it working for you?

The lovely sweater that I took off as soon as I was able to get
 back into my sweatpants after church

A Good Day

Today was a good day. Here are some reasons why.

• I ate a delicious double chocolate chip muffin for breakfast.
• I watched 3 episodes of Battlestar Galactica. SUCH a good show... and one that I always made fun of my roommate for watching until I checked it out for myself. 
• Jesus and I hung out for a little while. I'm reading through the Bible in a year and am currently going through Genesis, the Psalms, and Matthew. The idea of siting down and busting through the Old Testament sounded horrific and given my attention span, I probably would've given up after the first listing of genealogies. But the reading plan I'm currently using allows me to read a little from the Old Testament, New Testament, and the Psalms each day which has been really enjoyable thus far.
• I intentionally exercised for the first time in about a month. I rode the stationary bike for approximately 25 minutes before deciding that I was way too out of shape to continue. While riding, I read a couple of chapters of "Wicked." The jury's still out on whether or not I'm enjoying this book. I've actually never seen the Wizard of Oz but "defying gravity" was about a  4-month-long song obsession of mine and I'm completely starstruck by Idina Menzel so I figured I'd give Wicked a try.
• After "exercising" for a few minutes, it only seemed natural to stuff myself with incredible leftover indian food... and by no stretch of the imagination was my chicken curry only a spice level 2. I can't even begin to fathom what a spice level 6 would do to my body. 
• The roomie and I took a trip to the community park and I received some wonderful coaching on the basics of lacrosse. Words cannot describe how refreshing it was to be involved in some sort of athletic activity again. I'm pretty sure that a tiny piece of my heart died the day I stopped playing softball.
• I enjoyed some great fellowship and an incredible dinner with the other Miami Cru interns. It continually blows my mind when I stop and think about how crazy-blessed I am to have the people in my life that I do...and with that, the fact that the #1 job priority listed on my job description for campus ministry with Cru is to be walking with Jesus. How freaking awesome is that?

That is all. I hope your day was a good one. And if it wasn't, I want to encourage you to hang on to the hope that tomorrow will be better.

Battlestar, season 2.5

Late-Night Adventures

I love randomness. I love spontaneity. I love going to Steak 'n Shake at 1am with friends who make me laugh really hard and who love me even though I embarrass them in public on a regular basis.

 

Jealous Kind

Jars of Clay- Jealous Kind

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

Trying to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than to be broken by a lover I don't understand
'Cause I don't understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

This song was released in November 2003...and I just discovered it about three weeks ago, which is pretty much par for the course when it comes to the love relationship I have with music. But although I'm a little late on the up-take, I generally make up for lost time by playing the song over and over and over again. Anyone who's had the privilege of riding in a car with me during one of these song obsession periods is well-aquainted with this tendency. 

Anyways, I stumbled upon "Jealous Kind" while on the car ride home from a friend's wedding a few weeks ago... and fell in love instantly. In my general cynical attitude towards relationships, it is so easy to forget the INCREDIBLE love story that is the gospel- the epic, true story of Jesus. God, in the flesh, who desires to have a personal relationship with us, so much so that he endured brutal suffering here on Earth so that we might have a chance to find our way back to him- that we would have a CHOICE to turn from everything our world tells us is satisfying and simply accept His gift- love in its purest form, a crazy beautiful and undeserved opportunity to walk hand in hand with the One who loves us in a way that we will probably never fully understand. The love a Creator has for His creation, the love a bridegroom has for his bride. 

And yet I forget. 

All of the time. 

I sit around wondering if healthy relationships are even possible, if life is simply a repeating story of being broken by the flawed nature of myself and of those around me. Wondering if I will always be enslaved to the mistakes of my past, and paralyzed by fear of messing up again in the future. I so easily forget that even when it doesn't feel like it, I am WELL LOVED. There is grace and there is redemption and I am involved in an EPIC love tale with the Creator of the universe. The One who knit me together in my mother's womb and who knows the number of hairs on my head. The One who knows my heart and understands my fears. The One who is faithful, who keeps His promises, and who never stops bringing me back to Him no matter how far or how often I wander. And although I'm bound to forget again, there is hope. 

And there is music... even if I discover it 8 years late.

Epic

Song Obsession #1

This is the first of many song obsessions that I will be sharing with you. I freaking LOVE this song. It tugs at my heartstrings.

 

Hanging out with Peter, Liz's blankie

Productivity=0

My day went as follows:

Wake up: 11am

Answer phone call (and proceed to talk on the phone while half asleep): 11:02am-11:21am

Get out of bed: 1:05 pm

Eat breakfast: 1:10pm

Intermittently do the laundry, clean the bathroom, and vacuum the apartment while catching up on Private Practice episodes: 1:30-3:30pm

Shower/get ready for the day: 3:45-4:45pm

Succumb to my Skyline addiction: 5:30pm

Walk around Kroger and inquisitively look at the items while pretending like I don't have the locations of all of the store's contents memorized: 6-6:30pm

Watch a movie, "Warrior" (which I would strongly recommend), and subsequently develop the fantasy of being a female MMA champion 7:30-9:30pm

The positive thing about being this unproductive is that tomorrow carries the strong possibility that I will accomplish more than I did today...which is always a plus. Gotta love being on vacation... or "stay cation," as I prefer to call it since I have no intention on venturing far from Oxford in the near future. But I mean, this place is practically paradise so I have no complaints. Seriously, I can walk to Kroger. What more could I ask for?

A kroger employee made the mistake of leaving the price gun unattended

Happy New Year!

So I'm one of those people who goes through periods of being intensely obsessed with a particular object of focus. My current obsession is with a color- the beautiful highlighter yellow. Many of my obsessions are random and pointless with no rhyme or reason as to why I would be hooked on that particular thing at that moment in time. They are also usually fairly brief, ranging in length anywhere from one week to a few months. However, I'd like to think my highlighter yellow obsession is different.  

My goal is to wear this color every single day of the year and, through pictures, to document the outfits I come up with each day... which should be pretty interesting since I'm significantly lacking in the creativity department. I mostly want to just to see if I can do it. But here are a few other reasons as well: 

• There's a lot of darkness in this world and something in my soul screams with joy every time I stumble upon brightly-colored things. 
• I sometimes get distracted and wander off so people will be able to locate me more easily if I'm brightly illuminated.
• I find great amusement in the witty comments/insults that are thrown my way when wearing this color. Examples: "You look like you fought with a highlighter and lost," "Were you just outside directing traffic?" and "We're putting you at the top of the human pyramid so planes know to steer clear."

Thanks for embarking on this journey with me. Feel free to leave comments, fashion suggestions, and any concerns you may develop about my mental health as you read future posts. Just kidding. I'm totally stable :)

Hat, complements of Liz Snyder. Nail polish, complements of Walgreens.